atreesvoice

Weeks ago, if not months, I had the brilliant idea to create a blog for my writing. The purpose was to create a space to make me accountable for my writing. As it is now, I write whenever I feel like it and keep it safely in notebooks that I do not share with others. I love this method, it helps me to explore life and my inner world. Yet, in my bones it feels like time to put myself out there more. Whatever that means for my future I can’t be sure, but for now it means with my writing.

After making the decision to write a blog, I had to research the best way to do it. I have started other blogs, but they didn’t feel real to me. Meaning I did not take them seriously, and wrote only one or two entries. So, I was investigating ways to create what felt more like a home for my writing, not just some free place on the web. I spent weeks on the research, deciding which way to go. The choices I came to were 1).learning to build my own website 2).adding a blog page on the http://www.healingspringsjournal.com, a website that is already mine or 3).creating a WordPress blog. I took the research very seriously, as I always do with any new idea or purchase. Another consideration was what name to use. This took a lot of thought too, for it should represent me and my writing, which meant I had to know what that was. And honestly, I didn’t and couldn’t define it for myself. That is not one of my strong point. I’m much better at vague and loose, as then it can incorporate all possibilities.

On any given day, I have 3-7 ideas of things to write about. Sometimes they get used, other times not. However, since I have put this blog up, every idea comes in fleetingly and goes out just as fast. In order to come up with a post, I looked through some of my other writing to rewrite, but none seemed any good. So instead, I’ve posted nothing but a test. And it dawns on me that this is a reflection of what happens to me with a lot of things in my life. I like the idea stage. I enjoy the researching and brainstorming. I also find the creation fun. Then when it comes time to step through to the tangible and maintenance stage, I get gun-shy and bored. None of my creations seem worthy of the vision I had. With every start and stop it is becoming a habit. One that I want to break through. So, here I am with a knot in my stomach writing what sounds like ‘blah, blah, blah’ to me. Yet, I recognize deep within that to turn my back on it now would be a lot more uncomfortable in the long run, no matter how appealing it seems right now to look up “how to become a better writer.” It’s not that the blog itself is that important, it’s the following through with an idea that is necessary. My hope is that you will follow me on the journey and enjoy it as well.