atreesvoice

In June, our family celebrated my Grandmother’s 90th birthday. Nain (as the grandchildren call her, meaning Grandmother in Welsh) was a very influential figure in my life. At the age of 39 she had three teenage daughters and a daily radio talk show for which she was responsible for gathering the guests, organizing the questions and hosting. At this very busy time in her life she found out that she was pregnant with my uncle Dave. This was the fifties and she had the lifestyle of a woman in the 21st century.

Nain is responsible for my discovering writing as a method of expressing my inner world. For that one thing alone, I can not thank her enough. Most of what I write sits in journals for only me to explore at a later date. But without having that outlet, which is often my method of prayer and meditation, I would most likely be constricted with a feeling of no way out.

As a child, I felt very misunderstood by Nain. Mainly because when we were together, my introverted personality was continually asked questions, and requested to speak up and look her in the eye when answering. She had me walk with books on my head in order to learn to stand up straight and walk with purpose.

As I look at my Grandmother now, beautiful at age 90, I marvel at how all situations can be seen from various perspectives. In younger years, it seemed as though she didn’t know the true me, simply because she asked me to do what didn’t come naturally. Yet, as an adult I can see that she knew exactly what my personality needed in order to find strength among the world. By asking me to step outside of my comfort zone, she gave me the courage to be more than what I thought of myself.

While Nain was purposefully teaching me to improve my ability to show respect for others by looking them in the eyes, in other cases our teachers have no cognizance of their lessons for us. Perhaps a friend says something that brings up our abandonment wound or feelings inadequacy. What they actually say is not the important story. Rather allowing the experience of bringing the wound up and then changing our reaction is where the value is. Have there been times in your life when you felt misunderstood at the moment it happened, only to find out later that the person or circumstance knew what you needed better than you did? If so, be grateful. If not, look again.