My love of all things wellness and healing began at a young age. I chose to attend my first ‘self-improvement’ weekend workshop just after graduating college. Without stating how many years ago that was, I’ll just say more than half my life has passed since. Even as a child, I often preferred sitting in trees pondering life rather than playing with other children. Contemplation has never been something I do occasionally, or when there’s a problem, instead it’s a way of life. The early workshops increased my understanding that everyone is going through something. Everyone. As well, it quickly became clear that workshops were for sharing knowledge and perhaps even more about the feeling experienced during the time together in a group. That may be a sense of belonging, joy, peace or any variety of sensations that seem to be missing from our regular life. I’ve heard over and over from people who are inspired at workshops, then find it hard to maintain that feeling once home. Simply put, a weekend is not a lifetime of practice. It’s similar to an exercise class. The first one is often inspiring because it feels great, was tons of fun, and a joy to be around new people. Yet, one class does not actually change your body. You may go to a few more still inspired by the newness. Then old habits start to creep up again, bringing back the energetic feelings we are used to; heaviness, stress, chaos, worry or fill in the blank. This is neither a sign of failure or weakness; it is the way cycles go. Real change may be closer to permanent if we anticipate this cycle. As with exercise programs, each time we come back—while inspired and while not—the more ingrained the behaviors become. The practice is no longer a separate activity we strive to continue, but an integrated part of our life. Our spirituality, for instance, is not something we only play with in meditation, or during a workshop, it is a constant way of experiencing.
For a new project, I have been reading my journals from 2006. One entry requests “Great Spirit, another thing I ask is for You and the many spirits that surround me to bless every being involved in The Healing Springs Journal —the readers, writers, and advertisers. Please share Your Grace with each person that touches any issue of HSJ. Show me how to best use the journal as an effective vehicle for wholeness. I have learned through it how to get my personality/ego out of the way. I feel now a time to create greater waves of healing both in this region as well as around the world.” On the day of writing this particular entry, my best horse friend at the time was being put to his final rest. My heart was breaking from saying goodbye to him. Yet, knowing that I was serving the community by providing empowered choices to the readers bellied the deep sorrow. This can illustrate the reciprocal nature of life. While what we do for others comes back to us, it may not be directly from the same person with whom we interacted. Also, rather than coming from another person, the ‘return’ may simply be in our own behavior. As with the feeling sense experienced during workshops, our motives or the energy we feel around our actions are what keeps coming around. We spread whatever that feeling is through the reciprocity some call karma. For this reason it is important to be ever mindful of why you are doing what you’re doing. Do you find yourself in the energy of obligation? Joy? Love? Anger? Grace? Fear? That question sounds black and white—the answer typically is not. Sometimes we are obligated to do something, yet because it is for a daughter (mother, father, friend….) we are in the energy of love. That said, there are often underlying ‘feelings’ ruling our behaviors. Let us consciously align them with what we want out in the world and what we would like repeatedly returning to us. Doing so may be considered a lifelong experiment in mindfulness, as well as our greatest contribution to the world.
atreesvoice 