Archive for March, 2019


From my car earlier today, I saw a guy dancing to the music playing through his headphones while walking down the side of the road. It was obvious he was lost in his music and loving it. This made me smile. Yet, no one but him could hear the music, so it would have been easy to think he looked ridiculous. What struck me, and why I write about it now, is that this is an example of how it is for all of us really. Instead of music, we each have a running commentary in our head that no one else can hear; sometimes we can’t even hear it ourselves. This commentary is the basis for our movement in the world. Sometimes it’s very obvious because we can hear it say something like “I want a glass of water.” The words then create the movement of going to get a glass of water. Other times it’s silent telling us the likes of “no one makes money creating art” which creates the opposite of movement, replacing it with inactive creativity. Or a voice of doubt that ask things like… Am I good enough? Am I really able to have what I want? Does anyone care? It can also wear the guise of spirituality, such as “you need to stay positive all the time to get the life you want.” Whether it is loud, obvious or quiet, it still moves us in much the same way the music moved the kid. All my examples seem to lean on the negative side, which isn’t an accurate representation for this “voice.” The “music” also plays us into our dreams when we allow it.

Just as the ongoing commentary in your head isn’t heard by the one next to you, neither do you hear what is going on inside someone else’s mind. We do not know what anyone is experiencing as they go through their life. We may love them, feel close to them, and even sometimes think we know them better than they know themselves. We still do not know what it’s like inside their head. They may be able to tell us, but words are limited by their nature and are not always the best expression of the nuances we actually feel. The person telling you about their day may have beliefs and understandings that are shaping their moment and memory, that you cannot understand or hear because it’s not a part of your experience. So, while you can, and perhaps always will, have opinions about how someone could act or respond, it is wise to simply be curious about everyone you come in contact with—those new in your life, as well as those you see every single day. Doing so, allows everyone the space to also be curious about his or her own self when around you, rather than following a prescribed way of being. The more this happens, you in turn will be curious about yourself and may find new and interesting things that are truly authentic. Get so busy enjoying Life you get lost in the movement—just like the kid dancing, while allowing others to do the same.

In my early life, I had a friend that asked me what my motives were. With hindsight, I know he was asking me for his own benefit. Yet, it set me up to examine my reasons for doing things, which was my first experience with being curious about myself. It may be worth noting he was a boyfriend. Like it or not, they do have more impact, hence why I was inclined to listen to his question and take it to heart. Now, I’m thankful for its impetus. Often we are told what to do or how to behave. As beings that want to belong, we follow the ways of others in hopes of finding our place. This isn’t always our family of origin, as we can leave them in search of somewhere more “us.”Yet, the more we fit into a group, the less likely we will look at our own reasons for following their ideas. As a way to of examining your inner commentary and become curious about yourself, I suggest looking at the motives for your actions. Don’t judge the answers, just ask yourself honestly ‘why am I doing this?’ If the answer is ‘I have no idea,’ sit with that and maybe contemplate why you would do something for no reason. If the answer is one you don’t like, such as ‘I have to,’ ask yourself if that is true. Do you really have to do it, or do you prefer doing it over the outcome of not doing it? With each honest inquiry and answer, you clear out the commentary running your show. By purifying the ‘noise’ that interprets your experience of life, you will touch the most honest you and life will respond in kind.

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